The Loss of Trust When Parents Cheat
by Dr. Ana Nogales
with Laura Golden Bellotti
When a child of any age discovers that one parent has cheated on the other, that child suffers a profound loss of trust. He or she can no longer take anyone at face value and constantly anticipates betrayal. The following comments are from adult children, ranging in age from twenty to fifty, for whom the feeling of “deep mistrust” is an ongoing issue.
When your parents sexually betray each other, you are often left with a host of emotions that reverberate well into adulthood. Shock, rage, shame, confusion, loss of trust—these are common responses of those whose parents were unfaithful. It is no wonder, then, that an adult child’s romantic relationships will be deeply affected by a parent’s broken vow.
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After the cheating and my mother came back home, my brothers and I called her every hour to make sure she was where she said she was going to be. In my first relationship, I celebrated how many weeks I was with my boyfriend. I didn't trust that someone would stay around for very long...
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The fact that my father, this man that I had put on a huge pedestal, cheated on my mother, a strong independent woman, has taken a huge toll on me. I no longer trust men at all. I have lost faith in my own child’s father. Although he says he loves me, I do not trust him, or any man for that matter...
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